1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
bring money and cleavage
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
