with your own penis?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
