You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
