i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
