the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
