Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
