i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
