Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
