I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He uses pillows to masturbate.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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