Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
