She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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