my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
