dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Sorry my hands just texted you
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You can't just leave with hair like that
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
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