Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
