Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
