question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
