you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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