I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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