When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
