So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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