just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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