Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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