my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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