So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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