Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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