I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
