I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Randomize
