She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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