my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
