Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
