Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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