Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
It's Friday. Sex?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
