You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
