The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
