Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
