he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
