That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
