Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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