you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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