How'd it feel making her break her religion?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
