im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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