we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
