he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
