So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
