You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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