Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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