I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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