My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
