I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
