I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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