Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
