i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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