so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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